they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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