ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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