I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
