You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
