So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
