Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
