Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
