Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would fuck him just for his dog
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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