I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
