He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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