Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
