Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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