everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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