just tell him i said nine months
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Vodka?
Forever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
