Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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