Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
