I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
