I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
