Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
