at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
