a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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