Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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