Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize