Acid is not a monday night drug
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
