You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
