it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He called my IUD an IED, and said thatās why I had bomb pussy.... I didnāt correct him
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