Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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