i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
