at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
