Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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