Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
