And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
