STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
