We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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