Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
