I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
