The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
