I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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