pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize