I wish i was in the wii world.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
