Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
