you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
