On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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