Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
