Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
