So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize