hell yes lets make some ravioli
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
