I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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