I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
