best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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