im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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