We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
