Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The ass gains better be worth it
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