I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
