I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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