so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize