Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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