I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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