ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
