You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
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