All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
