is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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