my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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