do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
