I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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