so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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