I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
