I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
