She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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