Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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