She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can you bring me the toilet please
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
