there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this just has baby written all over it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
